Today, I would like to renounce my faith in an Invisible Magic Friend. The universe derives its laws from basic geometric symmetries and probability. It’s childish, arrogant and unnecessary to invent a supernatural intelligence in our own image that, in any case, then does nothing.
Similarly, I would like to call for a written constitution for the this country. One which protects democracy, accountability and equality, with an elected head of state sworn to protect the constitution. Where Prime Ministers no longer appoint all the lords, all the bishops, all the ministers, can declare war, close down parliament, hand government contracts to their friends, and vomit all over Downing Street. I call for the sanity of a modern republic.
Nah, only kidding. Doff your caps, subjects, and enjoy the extra days off you’ve been allowed.