Bozo Plans to Nobble the Electoral Commission

Bozo the clown doesn’t like the electoral commission. They pry into things like whether Vote Leave broke the referendum campaign rules. They investigate whether politicians have taken backhanders for favours, for example when they have their flat redecorated at eye watering cost. Now Bozo has a solution, he’s going to nobble the electoral commission by removing its power to prosecute.

If that doesn’t sound like a big deal, just imagine if the CPS could no longer prosecute crimes. The crimes would still be on the statute book, but anyone could break the law with impunity. This is what Bozo’s government plans to do with electoral law.

If this is such a big deal, why isn’t all over the press? Why aren’t news organisations clamouring to protect one of the few remaining organisations that can call a government to account?

Yes, I’m wondering that too. In the meantime, there’s yet another petition that can be signed.

Preposterously Reverend Lord Professor Bishop Baron Lord Richard Harries, Baron Pentregarth, Gresham Professor of Divinity, Baron, Bishop, Professor, Lord…

Scotland face England tonight. While I’m Welsh and British, I am also, far more importantly, Christian.

You see Christians have a higher loyalty. Our minds are set on higher things. It’s just one of the ways that we’re so much better than everyone else. Naturally, if anyone attacks this wonderful, higher level of elevated thinking, we band together to protect our invisible magic friend club.

There have even been people, whose minds were not sufficiently elevated, who consider the Church responsible for covering up offences against children. You must simply learn to accept our moral superiority and leadership.

Rev Lucy Winkett, Rector of St James Piccadilly, handy for Fortnum and Mason

What should Joe Biden and Vladimir Putin do? Let’s ask Jesus.

Jesus always treated everyone nicely when leading international conferences between nuclear powers. His reflections on economic theory form the foundations of both free market and command economies to this day. He was always nice to everybody. This was appreciated so much that they crucified him for it.

Joe Biden should not, I repeat NOT, kick Vladimir Putin in the shins and make disparaging comments about his mother. He should smile and be as nicely nice to him as possible. That’s what Jesus would do.

The lesson is that we should be nicely nice to each other to make things nicier in the world.