The statue of the Bristol slave trader, Edward Colston, has been toppled and tossed into the sea. Rather than discuss the rights and wrongs of honouring a man who enslaved 100,000 people, branded them with his company logo, dumped 20,000 of their dead bodies in the ocean and made a fortune in the process, I’d like to address the much more important theological point of statues of the Invisible Magic Friend.

The Invisible Magic Friend used to live up in a mountain and got upset about statues of him. You can’t make statues of the Invisible Magic Friend because he’s ineffable and invisible and lives up a mountain. You must be really thick to think you can make a statue of an Invisible Magic Friend that lives up a mountain.

And this is where the history of western critical thought comes from.