At 11pm tonight, the United Kingdom will celebrate its independence. After a long, hard war, the UK will finally be free of the jackboot of continental imperialism. Against all odds, brave little blighty has defeated the lumbering behemoth that calls itself the European Union.
All of us will breath the clean, fresh air of freedom. Freedom to set our own standards in olive oil production. Freedom to define our own customs codes for fridge magnets. Freedom to not live and work everywhere from Ireland to Estonia, from Sweden to Malta. Freedom to continue to import people from different countries to do all the jobs that are either beneath the British or which we’re too stupid to do. Freedom to set up customs tariffs, to add bureaucracy to trade. Freedom to eat chlorinated chicken, hormone injected beef and freedom to do exactly what America tells us to do. And most importantly, freedom to be ruled by a bunch of posh boys from Eton, because that is, after all, their right.
All it has cost us is splitting the country down the middle, ceding Northern Ireland to the EU and causing endless stress and uncertainty for millions of families across the continent.
But I appreciate that not everyone is celebrating this magnificent triumph. There are still some treacherous, sore loser, remoaners for whom being a subject of Her Majesty is not good enough. For these pitiable creatures I offer the following links.
A petition to create an associate EU citizenship.
https://www.stayeuropean.org/ (hat tip to AndyM)
The European Movement
And of course