Guvna B, the rapper formerly known as Isaac Borquaye

And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, knife crime. Which brings me on to the Invisible Magic Friend, but more importantly, me.

Right Rev Philip Egan, Catholic Bishop of Portsmouth

And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, Happy “Massacre of the Innocents by King Herod” Day!

People keep going on about the Catholic Church abusing children, covering it up, failing to cooperate with the authorities, trying to protect our position and failing to compensate or empathise with victims. Well we’ve said we’re sorry and will continue to say we’re sorry. We’ve done absolutely everything possible in the saying we’re sorry department.

But you lot are worse, much worse. You latter day King Herod’s allow the murder of innocent unborn babies. As an allegedly celibate elderly man, I can’t think of anyone better qualified to tell women when they should have children.

Enjoy King Herod’s day, baby murderers.