Ex-Rev Canon Angela Tilby, Christ Church Cathedral Oxford

There’ll soon be a new, super, improved leader of the Conservative Party, who will be so much better than the old one. We really can’t think why you bothered with the old one in the first place when the new one will bring such fantastic improvements to the world.

You can trust this. It’s as reliable as the Big Book of Magic Stuff that tells us that the Invisible Magic Friend definitely exists. And the Big Book of Magic Stuff is never wrong.