The Invisible Magic Friend, who used to be Jewish, has decided to give us all lots of spare time. Wasn’t that good of him?
The Invisible Magic Friend also gave us life, although for many of us, not for much longer.
The Invisible Magic Friend, who used to be Jewish, has decided to give us all lots of spare time. Wasn’t that good of him?
The Invisible Magic Friend also gave us life, although for many of us, not for much longer.
Platitude of the Day 
“I’ve suddenly found myself with loads of spare time to become even more pious than I was before, all because of a pandemic killing thousands of people.
Isn’t the IMF brilliant?!”
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Let us worship the Creator God for all the wonderful things he has created. In no particular order – corona virus, cleft palate, malaria, rheumatism, polio, multiple sclerosis, motor neurone disease, cancer, arthritis, dengue fever, Down’s Syndrome, macular degeneration, Lyme disease, influenza, typhoid, typhus, diphtheria, scarlet fever, leprosy, dysentery, sepsis, whooping cough, glandular fever, epilepsy, mumps, chicken pox, German measles, smallpox, pneumonia, jaundice, appendicitis, Parkinson’s disease, venereal disease…I could go on for ever (well, I nearly have), but I am sure contributors to this Website can think of thousands more of God’s gifts to humanity. Amen.
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John Bell himself
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An unclosed patent foramen ovale, a prime culprit in facilitating strokes in people who otherwise are living healthy lifestyles.
There’s one from the top of my head – literally…
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Baldness – one off the top of my head.
Why is the christian god always shown with such luscious locks? And Jesus on the cross. What chance that he had male pattern baldness?
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Maybe they should just rename it, “Me and my confirmation bias.”
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Never mind Covid-19, the ten most debilitating words in the English language are ‘And today’s speaker is John Bell of the Iona Community’.
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I always challenge the Jehovah’s Witnesses when they come round (they seem to have stopped recently – can’t think why – surely they get special protection from the big J) that if there is a god he could make an appearance at the World Cup Final when billions are watching and get his message over to all those people in one go – kerpow, I am real, so there!
Now we have a global pandemic in the modern age when almost everyone has a mobile phone and a comedy video about toilet rolls can go round the world in half a day. At the same time every Christian, Muslim and the rest are all praying like mad that they aren’t going to get Covid-19 (please dear Lord/Allah/Ganesh – remember all the times I prayed really hard to you). Come on God, where art thou? Surely this would be the time to make your appearance? No, ‘fraid not, I’m too busy, sos.
Cheers John Bell, your three minutes of blather will make it even easier to persuade people that your religion is even more pointless than it was three months ago.
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Rev John is grateful for the gift of time though, given the projections that Covid-19 will kill millions, why doesn’t he spare a thought for heaven’s (& hell’s) angels, administrators, punishers, etc?
They’ll soon be swamped with a hugely increased workload, poor things.
How will they cope, Rev John? Come on, tell us all about it.
And who’s to say this pandemic isn’t a sign of the end times, preparing the way for some final judgement or similar silliness? This could be the best thing ever. So why aren’t religionists celebrating? I think we should be told.
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