And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, Shakespeare. He’s brilliant, especially in Hamlet. He might have been talking about the Invisible Magic Friend. Go on, prove that he wasn’t.

Which brings me to Easter. There isn’t a Big Christian Festival today. In fact there’s no services at all today. We Christians are silent. You won’t here a peep from us. Even the guy who waves his arms about in the high street shouting “Jesus saves” won’t be there. For today, we are quiet, keeping ourselves to ourselves, apart from the occasional three minute interruption of a flagship news programme.

But you just wait. We’ll stop being silent tomorrow. For then we celebrate that whole Jesus and bunny rabbits and chocolate eggs thing, that’s named after a completely different god.

https://mega.nz/file/0vtFiKCJ#Flxv89TqLE16Oh9KVYhhj27Xj-ZFeM3vR6OHSlbLg7w

And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, there’s a Big Christian Festival today. Happy Good Friday everybody! In a very not good sort of way of course.

I’ll bet you never guessed I was going to mention that today did you? We Christians have been keeping quiet about it all week. Yes, the Temporarily Visible Third of the Invisible Magic Friend gets temporarily tortured to death today. So put on your gloomy hat and wander around with your head drooped and your very best pained expression, saying how terrible man’s inhumanity to Invisible Magic Friend is.

https://mega.nz/file/8mMnwSaB#ieYda-rXC8GwkX0DYfh6se9SBFSmdbXjkp9pKx0CKhw

And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, there’s a Big Christian Festival underway. Happy Maundy Thursday everybody! And Good Friday! And Some Other Saturday! But I don’t want to confuse you with all these complicated, technical, theological names. So I’ll just call them Holy Three Days.

It’s all so tragic and desolate and depressing. But, shhh, don’t worry Jesus comes back. And he will again to save us from today’s world.

For many American Christian fundamentalists, he already has.

https://mega.nz/file/V3URxBAb#YFBWBpEde7aIl4p5E8W28MdSPmkU8kRar_-ZmCHodgY

And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, Happy Holy Week everybody! In a very sad sort of way of course. I’ll just remind you of every detail I can think of from the story of this holiest of all weeks. With people talking about nothing else, it’s tempting to think that Christianity is irrelevant for the other 51 weeks of the year. But this is just peak Christianity this week.

https://mega.nz/file/kndygLwb#SHJfabCTc7d0cX89TCYUzDZom6ehqmVlq91dGk4ygII

Isn’t the war between the Abrahamic Religion First Version and the Abrahamic Religion Third Version in Gaza just terrible. This is where the Abrahamic Religion Second Version (Protestant branch, Church of England sect, headed by King Charles III, the One True Religion) comes in. Thanks to our proven moral superiority, we are in a position to lecture you all on how peace can be achieved.

Step number one, stop killing each other.

https://mega.nz/file/EmlFkBRY#PSw7DVZrhmPMavaSAuTh_y9EjRoic5iN2Hhuu7lVQoc