And in the Big News today from a Faith Perspective, my energy bill is now ridiculously high. Well I’ve had enough, I’m switching to Jesus Power. Jesus won’t go bust, or put me on hold for half an hour, or suddenly switch the lights out, or charge me exorbitant sums of money. Jesus won’t do any of those things.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/11r3N9TtgQ4lcpV85J5U4QbfGYWSfhenn/view?usp=sharing
Platitude of the Day 
Back then: Paul – ‘There’s no need for you to marry, it won’t matter whether you’re married or not, whether you’re laughing or crying, stoney broke or in a thriving business – it doesn’t even matter who your power supplier is. Jesus is returning soon; the world is passing away and age of Jesus is coming.’
‘So, he’s coming back?’ – ‘Yes, he said so.’
‘He’s definitely coming back?’ – ‘Yes, definitely; he said he was.’
‘Will he come back soon?’ – ‘Yes… he said he will come back soon.’
‘Soon?’ – ‘Yes. Soon – I wouldn’t even bother redecorating that back bedroom, it’d just be a waste of time; he said he was returning soon and will take us to God’s house which has many mansions, and no need of a power supplier etc etc.’
‘OK. I guess it’s best not to make any plans, then, or change my power supplier; not if he’s really coming… soon…’ – ‘You better believe it, son; it’s what he promises us.’
Fast forward 2000 years…
‘Thank you for holding. Your faith is important to us. An apocalypse will be with you soon…. Thank you for holding. Your faith is important to us….’
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Brilliant, Liverpudlian.
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I so wish I’d written that.
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There could be no greater accolade… I humbly thank you!
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Superb.
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Love it, Liverpudlian.
My favourite bit was his mention of how everyone was fooled by the Wizard of Oz but he can’t see that his belief in an IMF is exactly the same, except that the Wiz does exist but just pretends to do things.
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Spot on — well done.
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The faux solemnity; the soporific monotone; the clanging bathos; classic Rhid.
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