4 thoughts on “Consternatingly Rev Dr Gulnar Eleanor Francis-Dehqani, Bishop of Chelmsford

  1. I had an extraordinary awakening this morning. I was woken by two men working on my street who, when I asked them why they were making so much noise at 8am, told me they were installing new water meters.
    What’s a water meter, I asked.
    It’s to measure the amount of water that comes from the mains into your house, they said.
    What’s the mains, I asked.
    It’s a pipe that goes down your street that is linked to a bigger pipe that in the end goes to a water treatment plant that cleans the water ready for you to drink it.
    Wow, I said , that’s amazing. But where does the water come from before it goes through the treatment plant?
    For you, he explained, it comes from a reservoir in Derbyshire where the rain water that falls on the Pennine hills drains through the peat and collects in streams before getting stopped behind a big dam.
    Well I never knew that, I said. But then I am only three years old and my mummy and daddy told me that everything comes from god, so when I turned on the tap I thought that the water came from somewhere divine. They told me that people have been doing water divination to find water for centuries, so you can see why I was mistaken.
    Amazing what awakenings you can have and put down to something else if you aren’t told the correct information in the first place. Silly mummy and daddy.

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  2. Depending on the version of Invisible Magic Friend under discussion, suffering is good or bad, prayer is approaching the IMF as a friend or as a worthless sinner, etc.
    Whether or not ‘spiritual’ has any meaningful meaning, it never seems to add clarity to any discussion. And it’s a perfect word to use when not expected to justify its use.
    Thanks for nothing, Bish.

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  3. The Bishop assures us that we have ‘hidden spiritual depths’, that ‘dissolution of one’s identity’ can lead to ‘the emergence of a deeper, essential spiritual self’. There is not a shred of evidence for any of this. Indeed, there is precious little evidence that we have any sort of hidden, subconscious mental processes at all, apart from the automatic ones that help life to keep ticking over, still less that we can gain access to them through meditation, prayer, psychoanalysis or anything else

    And quoting Paul at us doesn’t help the Bishop’s assertion, since Paul seems to have regarded Jesus as an entirely celestial being, given the form of a man for the sole purpose of becoming a human sacrifice so that the rest of us would survive our deaths.

    The journalist Hugo Rifkind wrote recently (about conspiracy theorists, as it happens): “They’re essentially terrified. They’re hunting for meaning, and when they can’t find it they impose it”. That seems to sum up many religious people as well.

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