Scintillatingly Rev and non-female Philip North, Bishop of Burnley and not Bishop of Sheffield

When I was a boy I wanted to be a lorry driver, but decided to become a bishop instead. It turns out that the country depends on shelf stackers, lorry drivers and nurses, and not bishops after all.

The Invisible Magic Friend provides for all his people. Although he likes to provide rather more for some than for others, and not very much for nurses.

7 thoughts on “Scintillatingly Rev and non-female Philip North, Bishop of Burnley and not Bishop of Sheffield

    1. Presumably the IMF will provide… in the same way as it produces & picks all that food for which the Bish says we should be grateful… even though we should be grateful to the people who produce & pick the food.
      Sometimes I wonder if this stuff really adds up.


  1. The TftD rota has been remarkably lucky for the editors of the slot and its Catholic commentators. No one since Beattie mid-September . Unlikely they would have made it their subject, but their avoidance would have made yet another mockery of its claim to be a unique take on a current news story.

    From Keith Porteus Wood’s article:

    ‘The report concluded: “The Catholic Church is, after the circle of family and friends, the environment that has the highest prevalence of sexual violence.” Its president accused the Church of “sometimes knowingly putting children in touch with predators.”‘

    ‘Even while the report was being written, bishops were distancing themselves from accepting any responsibility. They refused to let their fabulously rich church bear even a centime of the meagre compensation (they recoiled from even using the word), determining that it should be dependent on the amount raised by public subscription. It’s thought reparations were conditional on the abandonment of any civil or criminal action. Quite a bargain, for them.’


    1. And I see that their top Archbishop has said that the secrecy of the confessional should override legislation requiring cases of child sexual assault to be reported to the police. He has been summoned to receive a talking-to from Macron. That’ll put the wind up him.


  2. Coming from any secular speaker, comments about carers, truck drivers and shelf-stackers being undervalued would be fairly uncontroversial Statements of the Bleedin’ Obvious. Coming from a man who still thinks that the IMF should be praised for providing our food, they actually appear less convincing than they ought to be.

    And he chose a humdinger of a deepity to finish on: ‘When we make the invisible visible, we uncover something of the gift of life’. Wow.


  3. I used to imagine God’s almighty hand feeding and watering the land when we sang “We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land” at harvest festival at junior school. My daydream was a bit like the Monty Python foot descending from the sky, but instead featured God’s almighty hand reaching down through the clouds holding a hosepipe and chucking a few chicken manure pellets around like my mum did on our veg patch.
    North, and his vacuous “giving thanks for the goodness of god who provides for his people from the abundance of creation” without providing any evidence, reminded me of the vicars who used to turn up each year at school and witter on about how everything came from god when living in the countryside it was obviously farmers doing all the work. Or my mum in the garden.
    And “Jesus …. listened to disabled people and gave them a voice???” I’ve seen the despicable American and African TV pastors who misuse disabled people by promising healings that never actually happen. Jesus and his disciples, like Barnum, knew what got the crowds interested and knew that pretending to heal a leper was a good draw. The C of E as the state church knows it can’t use that old advertising chestnut to pull in the crowds but there are plenty of other evangelical money makers who are willing to abuse and mislead suffering people in order to push their own businesses.


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