Rev Dr Michael Banner, Dean and Fellow of Trinity College, Cambridge

The Invisible Magic Friend created a virus that disproportionately kills black people because… er….

The Big Book of Magic Stuff is just full of stories about how all people are equal and we should all just try to get along, with just the occasional genocide here and there either performed by the Invisible Magic Friend or done at his command.

9 thoughts on “Rev Dr Michael Banner, Dean and Fellow of Trinity College, Cambridge

  1. “…because… er….”
    Living in a more Northern latitude than your ancestors did can possibly cause you to be deficient in vitamin D?


  2. Banner’s example from the BBoMS concerns a “gentile” Ethiopian who was reading the Old Tasty Mint. Was it normal for gentiles to read jewish prophets? I’d guess anyone doing so would be a Jew.
    It’s a shame Banner didn’t continue the tale. In Acts 8, Philip teleports from the scene immediately after the baptism. Then the eunuch “went on his way rejoicing” – which trustworthy source observed that & put it in the BBoMS?


  3. A tale on a par with the exploits of Harry Potter. Very sad and somewhat disturbing that an educated man should think it worthy of being broadcast to a critical audience as if it had even one iota of veracity. Stupid man.


  4. The last time Michael Banner mentioned the story of the Ethiopian Eunuch on TFTD it was to demonstrate the Bible was a champion of gender fluidity and transgenderism. Now he is using the same poor fellow to prove that the Bible supported Black Lives Matter long before the term was even invented. Given that the passage in question seems to have been overlooked for two thousand years by an assortment of slave traders, colonialists, eugenicists and bible-touting fundamentalists, one would have thought that Banner’s Diversity Aware Master of the Universe would have ensured the point was made more forcefully and transparently in his Sacred Word.


  5. Acts is even later and less reliable (if that were possible) than the Gospels to which it is a sequel, so no doubt this story was just fabricated to make a point. I guess it was originally meant to show how far and fast Christianity was spreading, and to demonstrate that even Ethiopian eunuchs could qualify for the Kingdom of Heaven.

    There’s a catch to all this, as there always is: nobody qualifies for the K. of H. unless they give themselves fully over to Jesus. Otherwise it’s the other place, and no argument. It turns out that people are very much not equal after all.


    1. I’ve just checked, in two versions of the Bible, and learned that this Philip was not instructed to go anywhere near the desert, but to the road that leads from Jerusalem in that direction. The Ethiopian he is said to have met was on his way back from Jerusalem, where he had been “to worship”. Evidently Jewish, then, as suggested by DeviousDave. You’d think Michael Banner would have been aware ot all this.


  6. Michael, one thing in this drivel stood out for me. Ethiopia was “A land on the on the very edge of the map as far as the ancient world was concerned”. Mmm, surely a god that created the whole universe would have been able to explain to the people of that ancient world that the earth isn’t at the centre of the universe. He would have explained the simple knowledge that we all now have, (thanks to scientific research) that we are part of a universe, galaxy, solar system and on a spherical planet where Jerusalem is not the centre of civilisation. That he “forgot” to do so and left Christians, Jews and Islam in ignorance for so long is one of the clearest signs that he DOESN’T EXIST.


    1. Not so. God left all that untold for mankind to slowly discover and come to realise the unimaginable stupendous enormity of the universe. Only then would mankind fully understand gods greatness in making such a place for mankind to reside. This also proves that clerics are a sham. Even the top most powerful ones, because god didnt tell them anything and left them to think that the earth was the centre of everything. This also proves that god is a really evil s.o.b. because in doing so he let the clerics use extreme brutality against anyone who suggested otherwise.

      I mean, the whole farce could lead one to suppose that god does not actually exist at all.


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